The six days of the bonsai beard.
Day 1: Noticed I had more influence over the feebleminded than usual, formed a cult. Insisted they call me "Master".
Day 2: Quit the cult, decided the real money's in truck stops. Started saying "reckon" more.
Day 3: Gave up on money, decided to hang around parks more. No reason.
Day 4: Loitering lost its edge, so I learned some kung fu. Tried to join elite group of ninjas on the strength of my facial hair alone. Was rejected for looking "too weird".
Day 5: Tired of rejection, got a job playing a bass in a blues rock band.
Day 6: Tired of whole facial hair shenanigans, shaved all facial hair.