Todd Stadler's blog

blender contest update

I recently received an interestingly belated entry to the now two-months-old blender contest.

It was sent by my girlfriend's sister, Rachel. And it was sent nearly seven weeks after the results to the blender contest were announced. It is not insignificant to point out that those results contained not only the name of the winner, but the correct ordered list of blender settings.

Perhaps it comes as no surprise, then, that Rachel's entry was without flaw. That is, it looked exactly like the list I had already posted on the web.

It should be noted that she did include with her list a lengthy explanation of her particular ordering in which she claimed extensive knowledge of KitchenAid mixers.

And, more importantly, she pointed out that she is dating the Australian man who is the sole source of Tim Tams ("Australia's favourite chocolate biscuit") in my life. As such, she controls whether or not I get to taste of the sweet treat that I love so.

Less astute readers might not have noticed it, but I think Rachel is attempting to blackmail or hornswoggle me. Or both. She wants the fame and glory that surely accompany the winner of a Cockahoop contest, and will stop at nothing to achieve it.

But I am not so base a man to be felled simply by the threat of withholding Tim Tams. As long as I have the Big Kat or Junior Mints, I have no reason to sink to her level.

So let this messages serve as a warning to you would-be Cockahoop-contest-usurpers. Your name will be spread far and wide on this web page, but not as you want. Instead, it will look something like this:

Rachel is a dweeb.