Todd Stadler's blog

time after time

Plastic today had a pointer to an interesting story on time travel. Usually, such stories from quasi-scientific sites are ultimately disappointing because, well, if time travel were ever possible, people from the future would likely be flying all over the place, no? Unless there's something horribly wrong with the Earth right now that we're unaware of that only gets fixed in the future. Like maybe we smell and just don't know.

Regardless, this story avoids that trap. The method described here only allows for time travel to points when the proper apparatus has been activated. In other words, people from the future will only be able to travel back to when the device was perfected and turned on, and not any point before then. Since this device hasn't been invented yet, we are therefore unburdened by annoying German tourists from the future.

Still, this makes me consider, once again, the many problems of time travel. Sure, there are all the many technical paradoxes about killing your grandparents, blah blah blah. But I'm worried about more important things.

For example, what advertising executive wouldn't thrill to go back in time and create all sorts of hype for a product that wouldn't exist for many years? Think of the level of hype that could be generated! And the kids would just eat up any product from the future. So clearly, the moment this first time portal is turned on, the immediate vicinity will be deluged with massive amounts of annoying futuristic ads.

Only slightly less annoying than that would be the probable decision of several world governments to conveniently dispose of their wastes by storing them in the past. Not to blame any governments in particular, but if disposing of nuclear and toxic wastes is a problem now, I can only expect it will be moreso in the future. Instead of leaving such an environmental disaster for our children to deal with, as is the current modus operandi, politicians of the future will be able to leave their problems for their grandparents to deal with. I fear it is a solution all-too-tempting for the weak and foolish politicians we will no doubt elect in the future.

Or perhaps invading hordes from some future superpower will come back and kick America's butt when we were weak and foolishly undefended by a perfectly functioning space laser program. If only we had known...

In short, the minute this time machine is turned on, it will be flooded with crap (literally) from the future. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near it. Fortunately, the article says the research is being done in Connecticut. Perhaps no one will notice large amounts of futuristic sludge appearing suddenly.

Oh well. I doubt it is really much of an issue, as some scientist in the near future, tired of having his time machine destroyed by advertising run amok, will no doubt send a neutron bomb back to the first ever time portal and destroy it and the scientist who made it, ending once and for all this horrible mess of time travel.